I think I'm having a bit of an identity crisis. I went to law school, but I haven't passed the bar, so I'm not a lawyer. I'm really social work oriented, but I'm not sure I can use my JD there. I'm interested in getting a master's in public administration, but that means more debt.. Really, I'd love to get  a masters of social work, but it won't increase my earning potential, and again, that means more debt.
At the same time, I don't know yet how my body would react to having a normal job. I think I'll be ok, but it's a little bit scary. I really need a job though; I've got credit card and medical bills out the wazoo. M doesn't really have any money to help me after our housing related bills like the mortgage and electricity. And I want to work; being home all the time I get bored and it makes me feel a little more down.
I'm trying to figure out this whole homemaker thing, and thinking about motherhood. In some ways it makes sense to have a baby while I'm home anyway; on the other hand, babies are expensive. M doesn't feel ready. We're tentatively planning to start trying next summer, but I suspect he might stall when it gets closer.
So basically, I don't know who I am. Am I a stay at home wife, eventually mother? Am I a lawyer, a social worker, or something else? How do I want my life to go? I don't know the answers to any of these questions, and I'm not a person that tolerates being in limbo well. I need to find another volunteer op to keep myself busy, but I worry about things getting done on the homefront if I spend dthe day working; when I get home, there wouldn't be much time and wouldn't be much energy left to do things like vacuum every day, pick up after M, make dinner, etc.
So yeah, I don't know.