While I'm out of a job, M is at work and I'm the lite version of a stay-at-home mom...to the dogs. I stay home during the day and make sure they're walked, watered, fed, and loved up. I vacuum up a Dyson canister full of dog hair...every day. I take care of the laundry (damn, M has a ridiculous amount of clothing), mail, bills, dishes, and attempt to make dinner some nights. I take out the trash, mop the kitchen, dust, etc etc etc. Me of 10 years ago would be thoroughly confused watching me of today. I was a dirty packrat back then, but as I've gotten older and older, I've found more of a need to be clean and become more willing to part with things I know I don't need anymore (like admitting I'm not going to fit into those size 2jeans again anytime soon). I don't mind doing this so much anymore in general, and especially given the situation. M works all day, and then often goes back to the old place to work on getting out of there. It seems fair for me to take care of things on the homefront while he's working and I'm not. Unfortunately, M is...shall we say, not neat? He can be two feet from the garbage can or hamper and fail the put the item he's holding that belongs in said receptacle into said receptacle. Oh well.
I understand the ups and downs of being a stay at home mother better now. I understand how it can be frustrating, always cleaning up after others and being trapped with the kids. At least now that the dogs have gotten used to the place I can leave for an hour or two and leave them behind (as long as it doesnt storm, but that's another post). A mother can't do that. And I am kind of isolated, I don't know anyone who lives nearby. When we first moved here and the dogs were too confused and thus destructive to leave alone, I was totally dependent upon M for interaction, meals, etc. Thank God I'm not now.
At the same time, I see how it will be difficult to hold down a full time job and still get everything done around the house that needs to be done. Work tends to wear me out; we're both pretty low energy people. I like being home with the "kids", even though they get really annoying when they want something (just like a baby...can't ignore them) or when they think they see another animal outside. How on earth do working women spend enough time with their spouse, their kids, have some time to themselves, and still take care of everything at home?
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
The dreaded in-laws
I had lunch with a friend I haven't seen since I moved today, and she was complaining about her crazy in-laws. It prompted me to get around to writing this post about my own in-laws.
I'm pretty lucky. From the moment I met them at Thanksgiving three years ago, 6 months into our relationship, they welcomed me into the fold. Literally, plenty of hugs from the get-go. We stayed with M's dad, as did his paternal grandparents, aunt and uncle, and brother and sister-in-law. His grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's, and the family was afraid this would be her last holiday season (and they were right). When we left, she said she couldn't remember my name, but she knew I was nice to her. As we drove away, his dad joked that they'd be sure to take a vote on me that afternoon. Next time M and his dad talked, M was informed that they voted for him to keep me.
His dad and aunt were particuarly welcoming, and have been ever since. I think his dad already loved me just because I went to law school at Alabama, since he spent a lot of his youth there himself. That, and my love of football won me major points. His dad is the type of person who is friendly to everyone, easy to like. M's aunt and uncle are pretty much the same way.
M's mom is a little more reserved, but still easy to get along with. M always says that despite being very religious, she's non-judgmental, and that seems to be true. She may not have expected to get a liberal half-Jew as a daughter in law, and I know there's spots where our point of view differs, but it's not an issue. I think she ultimately just cares that I love her son.
M's brother may be the most reserved of the bunch. We didn't talk much outside of playing poker that first weekend. It's easier now that I've spent more time with them. His wife is very easy to talk to. We've stayed up to ridiculous hours talking when I visit.
I've visited with both his parents and M's brother's family when M wasn't with me. M's sister-in-law and I communicate a lot on FB, and his mother emails me and I talk to both parents on the phone often, probably more than M does. I'm their best source of information on what M is up to :) Their family is very different than mine; mine are a lot slower to open up. Maybe it's different because people try to protect daughter's more, or maybe it's because they've only ever liked one boyfriend of mine (who promptly dumped me) before M. I tend to vent to my dad too much, which is stupid of me and doesn't help. Don't get me wrong, they like M and they get along. There just isn't the easiness that exists between me and M's family. I hope that will continue to develop now that we're married.
This Thanksgiving, M and I will spend it at his brother's house. His dad will spend a night or two with us on the way there, and on the trip back (which will be in time to watch college football; only M and his dad are nearly as into it as I am). M's mom is now in the same town as his brother. It'll be a nice couple days. We just need to figure out WTH we're going to do with 4 dogs. Good thing my folks are driving down for Christmas.
I'm pretty lucky. From the moment I met them at Thanksgiving three years ago, 6 months into our relationship, they welcomed me into the fold. Literally, plenty of hugs from the get-go. We stayed with M's dad, as did his paternal grandparents, aunt and uncle, and brother and sister-in-law. His grandmother was suffering from Alzheimer's, and the family was afraid this would be her last holiday season (and they were right). When we left, she said she couldn't remember my name, but she knew I was nice to her. As we drove away, his dad joked that they'd be sure to take a vote on me that afternoon. Next time M and his dad talked, M was informed that they voted for him to keep me.
His dad and aunt were particuarly welcoming, and have been ever since. I think his dad already loved me just because I went to law school at Alabama, since he spent a lot of his youth there himself. That, and my love of football won me major points. His dad is the type of person who is friendly to everyone, easy to like. M's aunt and uncle are pretty much the same way.
M's mom is a little more reserved, but still easy to get along with. M always says that despite being very religious, she's non-judgmental, and that seems to be true. She may not have expected to get a liberal half-Jew as a daughter in law, and I know there's spots where our point of view differs, but it's not an issue. I think she ultimately just cares that I love her son.
M's brother may be the most reserved of the bunch. We didn't talk much outside of playing poker that first weekend. It's easier now that I've spent more time with them. His wife is very easy to talk to. We've stayed up to ridiculous hours talking when I visit.
I've visited with both his parents and M's brother's family when M wasn't with me. M's sister-in-law and I communicate a lot on FB, and his mother emails me and I talk to both parents on the phone often, probably more than M does. I'm their best source of information on what M is up to :) Their family is very different than mine; mine are a lot slower to open up. Maybe it's different because people try to protect daughter's more, or maybe it's because they've only ever liked one boyfriend of mine (who promptly dumped me) before M. I tend to vent to my dad too much, which is stupid of me and doesn't help. Don't get me wrong, they like M and they get along. There just isn't the easiness that exists between me and M's family. I hope that will continue to develop now that we're married.
This Thanksgiving, M and I will spend it at his brother's house. His dad will spend a night or two with us on the way there, and on the trip back (which will be in time to watch college football; only M and his dad are nearly as into it as I am). M's mom is now in the same town as his brother. It'll be a nice couple days. We just need to figure out WTH we're going to do with 4 dogs. Good thing my folks are driving down for Christmas.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The house
We're coming up on a month and a half in our first house, and I love it. Although ideally it would be a little bigger, with maybe another bedroom, its pretty big for our price range. The floors are all laminate or tile, except for the guest bedroom. We have a full master bath (some houses we looked at didnt have a full tub). The kitchen has been redone and is open and pretty. The former owners had major green thumbs, and left a lot of plants...not to mention the big greenhouse, completed with grow lamps, heaters, and circulation and sprinkler systems (I know what you're thinking, and Im sure its not that!). There's abundant plant life along the front walkway, although it appears somebody stole our pepper plant before we moved in. We're on a lake, with the living room looking out into the huge backyard. the trade-off for that is that the bedroom faces the street and the walkway, which is weird, but not too big a deal. The guest bathroom has blue tile and fixtures that match with the curtains and towels I registered for. There's new, nice light fixtures throughout. We have a nice screened in porch. 3 bedrooms, 2 baths. Good quality windows that should keep our heating and cooling costs down. A large garage. This house was in nicer condition than most that we looked at. Did I mention we have an acre lot on a lake??
Aside from wishing we had some space for a future nursery (one bedroom is ours, one is a guest room, and one is M's office/music room) and that they were a little bigger (my bedroom set didnt all fit in our bedroom), this house is everything we need (except a double driveway, which is only a problem while M is still moving out of the old place and needs my car not to be in the way of unloading into the garage). Our families have always loved this house; his mother even prayed on it. We bid on this house 3 times. The first time we saw it was the day our engagement announcement was in the Democrat - we picked up a paper and read it over breakfast. We decided to look and see if there were any open houses we wanted to go to, and this was listed. So we came to see it and instantly fell in love. M already knew this house existed, but hadn't seen it yet. It's a nice story, no?
We're in a subdivision too far away for students to want to live. Really, noise from outside rarely bothers us (occasionally geese are loud, and sometimes trucks going by bother the dogs...but the neighbors never do). Sometimes we can hear a party coming across the lake when we're outside, but that's perfectly fine. It's a pain to go out to eat, but that's really a good thing, we need to save money and calories by cooking at home as much as possible anyway. It's stil close enough for M to come home (albeit briefly) on his lunch break. I think we'll be happy here for quite awhile. One day Ill get around to posting some pictures!
Aside from wishing we had some space for a future nursery (one bedroom is ours, one is a guest room, and one is M's office/music room) and that they were a little bigger (my bedroom set didnt all fit in our bedroom), this house is everything we need (except a double driveway, which is only a problem while M is still moving out of the old place and needs my car not to be in the way of unloading into the garage). Our families have always loved this house; his mother even prayed on it. We bid on this house 3 times. The first time we saw it was the day our engagement announcement was in the Democrat - we picked up a paper and read it over breakfast. We decided to look and see if there were any open houses we wanted to go to, and this was listed. So we came to see it and instantly fell in love. M already knew this house existed, but hadn't seen it yet. It's a nice story, no?
We're in a subdivision too far away for students to want to live. Really, noise from outside rarely bothers us (occasionally geese are loud, and sometimes trucks going by bother the dogs...but the neighbors never do). Sometimes we can hear a party coming across the lake when we're outside, but that's perfectly fine. It's a pain to go out to eat, but that's really a good thing, we need to save money and calories by cooking at home as much as possible anyway. It's stil close enough for M to come home (albeit briefly) on his lunch break. I think we'll be happy here for quite awhile. One day Ill get around to posting some pictures!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
wedding ring
I picked up my wedding ring yesterday after having it resized. It prompted me to think about what the ring means to me.
It means that I dont get to just walk away if things get difficult. It means I'm in this for the long haul, easy or hard. It means I'm emotionally and physically loyal. It means bothering to have the fight sometimes because its important and will make us better afterwards. It means knowing that M will be by my side when I need him, and me at his. I'll support him even when I'm pretty sure he's wrong. It means having a family. Taking his relatives and friends as my own. It means giving him his space when he needs it while maintaining closeness. It means doing everything I can to compliment him, helping us both grow as individuals and as one whole.
It means that I dont get to just walk away if things get difficult. It means I'm in this for the long haul, easy or hard. It means I'm emotionally and physically loyal. It means bothering to have the fight sometimes because its important and will make us better afterwards. It means knowing that M will be by my side when I need him, and me at his. I'll support him even when I'm pretty sure he's wrong. It means having a family. Taking his relatives and friends as my own. It means giving him his space when he needs it while maintaining closeness. It means doing everything I can to compliment him, helping us both grow as individuals and as one whole.
Monday, November 2, 2009
How I met your father
This month, M and I will have been together for 3.5 years. My longest prior relationship was capped at 2. I knew a month in that I was going to marry him. He took a little longer :)
We were friends for a year before we got together. There was too much there, though far apart, not to get together and see if our feelings were real or not. So, when I left DC, where I was living, for a weekend to go to Alabama and look for a place to live during law school, M met me there. Turns out we liked each other as much in person as we had from a distance, and I quickly made several more trips to see him before beginning law school.
Throughout law school, I drove the 6 hours each way to see hiim at least once a month, usually more. I stayed longer during breaks, including 6 weeks last summer while interning in town. I think I told him I loved him at a month. It just felt dishonest not to tell him.
We've had our issues, but overall, things have been great. We both love football (though opposing teams), and he got me into fishing, his passion. We had the same sense of humor, and I can crack him up anytime I want. We're sweet to one another - him with little gestures, me with silly things like overnighting homemade cookies to him. We're on par with each other intellectually. We're silly in the same ways. I don't make him see many chick flicks and he doesn't mind my potty mouth...much. We like each other's families. We each had 2 dogs, so now we have about 3 dogs too many, but its hard to deny we were meant to be together. Which doesn't mean that it isnt work sometimes.
The wedding was perfect. We're both unlucky people - rarely do we go out to dinner without something going wrong, often badly. But that day, the sun was shining, but not too hot. Everything went on schedule. He could barely hold back tears as he saw me in my dress. The Unitarian Universalist minister that married my father and stepmother almost 15 years ago officiated at our ceremony. The ceremony was a blur, with nods to both our mothers in the form of a prayer his mother selected and breaking a glass in honor of my stepmother's Jewish heritage. Both our entire families were there, even my half-sister I never get to see. We had a blast with the photographer, who got a lot of great shots. The meal was delicious, the music was great, and everyone had a good time. Its hard to get my family together, but we did it. The children in the ceremony behaved. Everything was perfect. Our only regret was that we didnt have more time afterwards to spend with our family, or to spend in the amazing suite the hotel gave us. We asked everyone to write a piece of advice on their placecards, and we had a blast reading those as we returned to Tallahassee.
This is the first time we've lived together, and sometimes it's stressful. We're both tired and stressed out. But, we're in love. I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds.
We were friends for a year before we got together. There was too much there, though far apart, not to get together and see if our feelings were real or not. So, when I left DC, where I was living, for a weekend to go to Alabama and look for a place to live during law school, M met me there. Turns out we liked each other as much in person as we had from a distance, and I quickly made several more trips to see him before beginning law school.
Throughout law school, I drove the 6 hours each way to see hiim at least once a month, usually more. I stayed longer during breaks, including 6 weeks last summer while interning in town. I think I told him I loved him at a month. It just felt dishonest not to tell him.
We've had our issues, but overall, things have been great. We both love football (though opposing teams), and he got me into fishing, his passion. We had the same sense of humor, and I can crack him up anytime I want. We're sweet to one another - him with little gestures, me with silly things like overnighting homemade cookies to him. We're on par with each other intellectually. We're silly in the same ways. I don't make him see many chick flicks and he doesn't mind my potty mouth...much. We like each other's families. We each had 2 dogs, so now we have about 3 dogs too many, but its hard to deny we were meant to be together. Which doesn't mean that it isnt work sometimes.
The wedding was perfect. We're both unlucky people - rarely do we go out to dinner without something going wrong, often badly. But that day, the sun was shining, but not too hot. Everything went on schedule. He could barely hold back tears as he saw me in my dress. The Unitarian Universalist minister that married my father and stepmother almost 15 years ago officiated at our ceremony. The ceremony was a blur, with nods to both our mothers in the form of a prayer his mother selected and breaking a glass in honor of my stepmother's Jewish heritage. Both our entire families were there, even my half-sister I never get to see. We had a blast with the photographer, who got a lot of great shots. The meal was delicious, the music was great, and everyone had a good time. Its hard to get my family together, but we did it. The children in the ceremony behaved. Everything was perfect. Our only regret was that we didnt have more time afterwards to spend with our family, or to spend in the amazing suite the hotel gave us. We asked everyone to write a piece of advice on their placecards, and we had a blast reading those as we returned to Tallahassee.
This is the first time we've lived together, and sometimes it's stressful. We're both tired and stressed out. But, we're in love. I can't wait to see what the next chapter holds.
Here we go!
2009 was a huge year for me, and the events of 2009 will shape the rest of my life and provide fodder for this blog.
Most importantly, I married the love of my life in June. M and I were together 2 1/2 years before getting engaged in January, and we were long-distance the entire team, including the first 2 months of our marriage. In August, I left my home of 3 ofyears in Alabama and moved in with him in Tallahassee. In October, we finally (after 7 total bids, and 3 on this house) closed on our own home and moved in. Since we've never lived together before, let the hilarity ensue!
This year I also graduated from law school. I'm still unemployed and looking for a job. Apparently, having a wedding and honeymoon a month before the bar exam was a bad idea; I hope to retake it in February.
In addition to reading about my adventures in newlywed-dom with my husband, M, you'll surely become familiar with the antics of our 4 dogs. In introduction, there Buck, the angel, Judy, the loudmouth cuddler, Loki, the independent one, and Scrappy/Baby Girl, the hellhound (he said it first).
Let's hope 2010 is half as interesting as 2009.
Most importantly, I married the love of my life in June. M and I were together 2 1/2 years before getting engaged in January, and we were long-distance the entire team, including the first 2 months of our marriage. In August, I left my home of 3 ofyears in Alabama and moved in with him in Tallahassee. In October, we finally (after 7 total bids, and 3 on this house) closed on our own home and moved in. Since we've never lived together before, let the hilarity ensue!
This year I also graduated from law school. I'm still unemployed and looking for a job. Apparently, having a wedding and honeymoon a month before the bar exam was a bad idea; I hope to retake it in February.
In addition to reading about my adventures in newlywed-dom with my husband, M, you'll surely become familiar with the antics of our 4 dogs. In introduction, there Buck, the angel, Judy, the loudmouth cuddler, Loki, the independent one, and Scrappy/Baby Girl, the hellhound (he said it first).
Let's hope 2010 is half as interesting as 2009.
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